Neurodivergent Therapy

Living with neurodivergence means navigating a genuinely complex set of experiences, and those experiences will be unique to you. If you are neurodivergent, or if you are beginning to wonder whether you might be, you may have spent years adapting, masking, and pushing through a world that was not designed with you in mind. You may have arrived here exhausted, confused about your own identity, or carrying the weight of a lifetime of feeling like you do not quite fit. All of that is a reasonable place to start.

I am a neurodivergent therapist myself, with a diagnosis of ADHD with autistic traits. My understanding of neurodivergence is not only professional; it is also personal. That does not mean I will assume your experience mirrors mine, but it does mean I will not need you to explain from scratch what it feels like to live in a neurotypical world.

I work with a wide range of neurodivergent presentations, including ADHD, ADD, autism, AUDHD, dyslexia, OCD, PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance / Pervasive Drive for Autonomy), and presentations that do not fit neatly into any single diagnostic category. Late diagnosis and late realisation are very welcome here.

For many neurodivergent people, masking, the sustained effort of suppressing, camouflaging, or compensating for neurodivergent traits in order to appear more neurotypical, is the defining experience of their lives. It is exhausting, and over time it takes a significant toll on identity, self-concept, and mental health.

If you have spent years performing a version of yourself that does not quite match who you are, you may have lost touch with what your needs actually are, or even who you are underneath the performance. This is one of the most important areas I work with, and one that I take seriously rather than minimising.

Neurodivergent burnout is not the same as general burnout or depression, though it is frequently misidentified as one or both. It involves a profound depletion of the capacity to function, often following extended periods of masking, overextension, or sensory and emotional overload. Recovery can take weeks, months, or longer, and it often requires significant environmental change rather than simply rest.

If you recognise burnout as part of your experience, I can work with you on identifying what has contributed to it, what genuine recovery might look like for you, and how to build a life that is less likely to push you back into it.

Alongside the more commonly recognised neurodivergent traits, you may also be managing a range of specific difficulties. These can include:

Getting things done: executive function, time blindness, task paralysis, task initiation, task switching, task variety, structuring and prioritising tasks, working memory, and the particular challenge of demands from others (including PDA profiles).

Sensory and physical experience: sensory overwhelm, interoception (the ability to notice and read internal body signals), sleep difficulties, and food-related differences including ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder).

Identity and self-concept: the psychological weight of measuring yourself against neurotypical norms, the confusion and grief that can accompany late diagnosis or realisation, intrusive thoughts, and the process of building a more authentic sense of self after years of masking.

Managing distress: emotional dysregulation, meltdowns, decompression, and the specific kind of burnout described above.

Navigating change: transitions of all kinds, whether daily, seasonal, or major life changes, can be particularly demanding for neurodivergent people and are something we can explore together.

I also work with the more complex relational difficulties that arise from being neurodivergent. These include, but are not limited to:

• The need to feel understood, and the grief when that need goes unmet
• Limerance and its particular intensity for many neurodivergent people
• How Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) presents within relationships
• Object permanence in relationships: the difficulty maintaining a felt sense of connection when someone is not physically present
• The often blurred line between work and personal relationships
• Maintaining boundaries
• Coping with meltdowns within relationships
• Communication differences and mismatches, including between neurodivergent and neurotypical partners or family members
• Workplace accommodations and understanding your rights under the Equality Act

There is a well-documented relationship between neurodivergence and trauma. Years of being undiagnosed or unrealised, of being told you are "too much" or "not enough," of navigating systems and environments that consistently fail to accommodate you, can leave a lasting mark. This is sometimes called neurodivergent trauma or minority stress, and it is a real and distinct form of psychological harm.

I work with the accumulated impact of these experiences, not only the more commonly recognised forms of trauma. If you have a history of trauma alongside neurodivergence, or if you are unsure how the two connect in your experience, that is something we can explore carefully and at your pace.

I work with a great many neurodivergent parents of neurodivergent children. This is a nuanced and often underserved area. You may be parenting children whose needs you understand intimately from the inside, while simultaneously managing your own. You may be navigating school systems, assessments, and professional opinions that do not match your lived understanding of your child. You may be grieving your own childhood as you support theirs.

I have a particular understanding of PDA family dynamics and the ways in which conventional parenting guidance can be actively unhelpful for demand-sensitive children. We will work together to find approaches that fit your unique family, rather than applying frameworks that were not designed for you.

Neurodivergence is not experienced in isolation from other aspects of identity. Race, gender, sexuality, class, disability, and many other dimensions of experience shape how neurodivergence is lived, expressed, and responded to by the world. Black and Brown neurodivergent people, late-diagnosed women and people assigned female at birth, and queer and trans neurodivergent people are all chronically underserved by mainstream services and are often actively looking for a therapist who has genuinely considered their experience.

I hold an intersectional framework throughout my practice. I welcome people from all backgrounds, identities, cultures, and belief systems, and I am committed to continuing to develop my understanding of the ways in which different social identities interact with neurodivergence.

Many people come to me following a late diagnosis or a growing realisation that they may be neurodivergent. Building awareness and understanding is often the first and most important step. From there, we can collaborate on exploring what is actually happening for you and begin to look at approaches that genuinely fit your life.

We might also explore the areas that feed into your neurodivergent experience. What triggers your rejection sensitivity, for instance? Might it be connected to your attachment style, to previous experiences of trauma, to how you were parented, or to other relational patterns? These questions do not have quick answers, but they are worth sitting with, and working through them can open up new ways of understanding yourself.

I use a combination of therapeutic and coaching approaches, always tailored to what you tell me is helpful. I will not tell you what your neurodivergence means or how it should feel. I will take the time to understand your particular experience, including the real difficulties it brings, without minimising them or reframing them away.

When you are ready, and at a pace that feels right for you, that understanding can begin to create space for different choices.

Some clients find the following tools helpful alongside our work together:

For those who find it difficult to start or sustain tasks, body doubling, the practice of working alongside another person (virtually or in person), can make a significant difference. Several platforms offer this kind of support. 

FLOWN (https://flown.com) offers live facilitated focus sessions designed with neurodivergent users in mind. 

Dubbii (https://www.dubbii.app), created by the team behind ADHD Love, offers body doubling videos, live sessions, and a micro-step task breakdown system for around £35 per year. Focusmate (https://www.focusmate.com) pairs you one-to-one with another person for structured 50-minute work sessions. 

Tiimo (https://www.tiimo.app) offers on-demand Pomodoro-style focus blocks with lo-fi music and does not require live interaction, which may suit those with social anxiety or demand sensitivity. 

If you are in employment/self-employed, it is also worth knowing that body doubling support and other workplace tools may be fundable through the UK government's Access to Work scheme (https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work), which does not require a formal diagnosis to apply, though having one can strengthen your application. 

UK organisations and information

• ADHD UK
• NHS: ADHD
• ADHD Foundation
• ADHD Adult
• ADHD Aware
• The PDA Society - comprehensive information and support for PDA profiles
• Autistic UK - a community interest company led by autistic people
• Dr Joanne - support for SEN parents and general neurodivergent education resources

Community and lived experience

• NeuroClastic - autistic-led writing and resources covering a wide range of neurodivergent experiences
• Neurodivergent Insights - resources from Dr Megan Anna Neff, including practical tools and writing on RSD, burnout, and autistic identity
• Devon Price, PhD - writing on unmasking, late diagnosis, and neurodivergent identity, including the book Unmasking Autism

Intersectional resources

• Autism and Race - resources specifically addressing the experiences of autistic people of colour
• Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network (AWN) - support and advocacy for autistic women, girls, and nonbinary people
• Sonny Hallett - writing and resources on the intersection of neurodivergence, queerness, and therapy

For therapists

• Danielle Mills (2023). Applying a neurodiversity affirmative approach to the pluralistic framework. Counselling and Psychotherapy Research. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/capr.12637